Madeleine5C+Twisted+Fairy+Tale

Rumpelstiltzkin (the true story)

First of all let’s forget about the “never seen or heard again” part because all though you may not see me you are hearing from me. You may have guessed as much I’m Izak Moss Rumpelstiltzkin. (People call me Im Rumpled or IM or IM Stilitz) So one day, I am strolling through town at 3:00 am (elves skins are sensitive and burn easily so we can only go out at night) going on my way to the orphanage to adopt a kid. (That is all I have ever really wanted) I hear crying coming from the deepest dungeon in the King’s castle (he has a separate castle for the Queen) I squeeze through this ridiculously small door in the wall and see this poor girl sitting at a spinning wheel with a pile of grass at her feet. I have no idea how she got herself into this. But I did know how to get her out (I am a magic elf (call me what you want not midget, or shorty) so I can spin things into platinum) of this chicken coop of a dungeon for a price of course. Apparently her meddling father had said to the king as he was passing by one day that his daughter (the crying girl) could spin grass into platinum. So HM (His Majesty) ‘kidnapped’ her and locked her here in the dungeon through the ridiculously small door. That is when I saw the gold necklace on her tiny neck and the gold ring on her finger. And hey I was helping her I deserve some $$ for payment. Also I would need some $$ to pay for my baby from the orphanage. So first I ask for her ring and I would spin the platinum for her. Well, there was also one thing she did not tell me it had to be done by dawn and I got there at like 3:00 in the morning and dawn was at 7:00 in the morning. So we hear footsteps I finished quick and dashed behind the barrel in front of the RSD. (Ridiculously small door) So next day I go back because I figure since I was successful the king will want more sure enough I have to //push// finally I pound on the door and the girl pulls from the inside and we get the door open. Mmmmyyyy that was a lot of grass in that room it came up to her waist. This time I ask for her necklace and again I slip though the RSD just as the guards and the king walk in. Okay next day, I go again same reason this time she is happy to see me she tells me that if she finishes she can marry him. Well the room is filed to the rafters with grass. (Im worried I will get grass stains on my pants) I deserve more for that much grass in 10 hours. So I think it over and I remember the waiting list for the orphanage, and I hear myself saying, “If you give me your first child.” She agrees but seems far away. I finish later than usual. And as I get out the RSD I hear the king saying, “What was that green thing by the barrel?” So about a year later my child is finally born, I can feel it in my bones. So I go again to the palace, (this time it is the Queen’s) and when I come in and remind her about her promise she protests. The liar. She says, “give me a break first my child is born then some midget in green shoes comes in and demands I give him the baby.” Well I take pity on her (I once lost a child, but that is another story) and say “If you can guess my favorite ice-cream in two days.” So, on the first day she goes through all of them except mine. The cheat has her personal spy follow me to the ice cream shop and the spy hears me say “Mulberry ice cream please it’s my favorite.” Of course she guessed it.
 * I DID NOT ** stamp through the floor boards the crazy reporters just said that. The Queen opened up a secret compartment in the floor where I was standing and I fell into //her// deepest dungeon. (This is also through a RSD). Well hear I am still stuck down here the RSD is too small for a mouse but I sent this letter out to you and only you. You must tell others my true story.