Wonjune+5C-Twisted+Fairy+Tales

__** Jack and the Beanstalk-Twisted Fairy Tales **  __ By Wonjune Kang Everyone thinks I’m the big mean Giant who wanted to kill Jack. But that’s not really true. It all started when my friend took me to a tavern one night. When I arrived at the tavern, there was a beer drinking contest going on. My friend dared me to enter the contest, and I had no choice but to do the dare. After all, everyone knows that a giant loses all of his or her pride if he or she doesn’t even do a simple dare. So I entered the contest and won first place. I drank so much that I was kind of dopey when I came home. I yelled at my wife to fix me up a late night dinner and sat down at the table. Then, for some reason, (I think the beer enhanced my nose-power a bit) I smelled a boy! Well, as I said, I was kind of dopey. I yelled at my wife that I smelled a boy. Well, she said that I was probably dopey and that I was imagining the smell. After I had my dinner, I went into my room and fell into a deep sleep. I was having a peaceful dream when a boy-a boy which I would come to calling as Jack-stole my beloved bag of gold! Imagine that! I wanted to catch him and have a talk about stealing other people's stuff, but this wasn't the time to have those thoughts. He said that I had eaten his father, but actually, it had been my friend who had eaten his father. Really! Giant's Honor!

Well, I was still kind of dopey, so I ran after him, yelling at him to give my gold back. He was able to run away that night. Then, the next night, he came back again and stole my goose that lays golden eggs! I wonder why he's so into gold? The next night, he came back yet again to steal my golden harp! Normally, I'm a pretty docile Giant. I don't go chasing young boys around. But when a boy-a boy-steals all of my stuff, I go kind of crazy. I ran towards him, and he started climbing down the beanstalk that he had climbed up to get to my house. I wasn't about to give up that easily, so I climbed down after him. He came down first and started to burn the beanstalk down! You wouldn't ever know how scared I was! The fire was coming up the beanstalk faster than a grasshopper in a hopping race. Finally, the beanstalk was thoroughly burned and disintegrated like a stone reduced into a million pebbles. After that happened, I fell into a lake. Everyone thinks I'm dead, but I'm actually in a hospital right now, recovering from my near-fatal fall. And when I recover, Jack is going to be one sorry boy.